Al-Qaida launched its first online propaganda magazine in English [last month] ... called Inspire. -- Associated Press

Advertisers have been gobbling up space in Inspire, producing some creative ads:

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Be Mujahedeen Strong. You can earn money towards madrasa and acquire the bomb-making and kidnapping skills that top employers like Hezbollah and the Medellin Cartel desire. Go to GoJihad.com.

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Even the most virile martyr would tire out after 19 virgins. That's why it's important to include a blast-proof pill box of Viagra• in your suicide belt. For more information go to ParadiseIsForLovers.com. * Only use Viagra if you are healthy enough for sex. But when you reach heaven, don't worry about it.

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Worried that your plane will land? Afraid your shoes are good for nothing except walking? I'm Richard Reid, and I know how unreliable air travel can be. That's why I wish I had taken out One-Way Ticket Travel Insurance. One Way will provide legal representation at all military tribunals (we only use Jewish lawyers. I know what you're thinking, but they're the best) and cover canceled bonus payments to your loved ones (standard martyrdom rates apply). Take it from me, just in case your shoe-bomb bombs, go to IDoNotBelieveIAmStillHere.com.

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Finally a truck as tough as you are. Rugged enough for off-mountain-road driving, power steering to maneuver around checkpoints and enough trunk room for 200 pounds of explosives. (Driver-side cupholders are standard in all vehicles.) Go to JihadJeep.com -- where safety is number one.

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From your friends in Iran: It is time to end our addiction to oil. Nuclear power is a clean, safe way to fill our energy needs -- while driving the Zionists crazy! Let's stop supplying petroleum to countries that don't like us very much and Go Green (but not the Green Revolution).

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Go rock climbing before breakfast or take a mule ride through the mountains after lunch. Hike through our poppy fields and then spend the night in a four-star cave. The Vacation of a Lifetime awaits you in Afghanistan (ransom insurance is available at GuestoftheTaliban.com).

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Are you up to your neck in debt? Let the professionals at Machete Debt Relief negotiate with your creditors to cut your payments. Don't lose your head over money problems -- go to SliceandDiceDebt.com.

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The nonbelievers are everywhere but Pakistani ISI agent Jamal Badour is working 24/7 to stop them. Watch the infidel get stoned the old-fashioned way, as Jamal and his Counter-Zionist Unit foil their plans for world domination. Tune in for An All New 24! -- where waterboarding is for sissies. (Hey, Fox Broadcasting, good luck trying to sue us for copyright infringement in a Sharia court.)

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Feeling like life isn't worth living? Put all those pills and shrinks behind you. For information on how you can make the most of depression go to LoveTheAfterlife.com.

Cartoonist Rob Rogers does "Rob's Rough," an early look at his work and his creative process, exclusively at PG+, a members-only web site of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Our introduction to PG+ gives you all the details.